British culture and culture shock

You’ve probably heard of the term “culture shock”, but do you really know what it means? Most people moving to live in another country experience culture shock in some way. It’s a normal part of the process of adapting to living in a new country, but it can feel unsettling at times.

If you’ve spent most of your life in the same country, you probably feel that the way people do things at home is “normal”. Sometimes it’s not until we find ourselves in a different culture that we really start to think about our own culture and our own personal values. Some British behaviours might feel very strange to you when you first arrive in the UK. It can be helpful to try to think of differences as simply “different” rather than “wrong”.

• The UK Council for International Student Affairs (UKCISA) website has some really useful information about culture shock and how to overcome it, as well as lots of other advice about student life in the UK.
• In this video you’ll hear international students talking about how they experienced culture shock and what they did to overcome it.
• Global Café is a great place to meet other international students at BU who will understand and share your experiences. (It’s also a relaxed and friendly place to enjoy a free drink!)
• Try this quick quiz to compare your home culture with the UK: Culture Shock Quiz.

One of the most important ‘rules’ in British culture is that people expect you to say “please” and “thank you” for everything. Many international students find it strange that British people say “thank you” to the driver when they get off the bus. If you’re making a request, a British person is likely to feel that you are being rude if you don’t use the word “please”.

• The GB Mag website might help you to understand more about British culture, including some useful blog posts about what’s considered rude and polite in the UK.

In most situations, British people expect to be called by their first/given name – this includes university staff. It may take a while for you to feel comfortable about calling your lecturer Dave or Jane, but it is considered normal in the UK.

You might be surprised when people who don’t know you at all (e.g. supermarket cashiers or bus drivers) call you “mate”, “love” or “darling”. Further north in the UK, it’s common for strangers to call each other “duck” and “pet”. It’s just a way of trying to be friendly, so don’t take it personally.

One of the things which varies hugely between cultures is the common topics of conversation when meeting people for the first time. If you are socialising with British people and you want to ask some questions to get to know them, keep this is mind:

• It is considered rude to ask questions about (or comment on) someone’s salary, relationship status, weight or age.
• Most British people will comment on the weather if they are not sure what else to talk about! You can also ask someone what they are studying or what they do for a job (but NOT how much they earn).

In the UK, although most shops are open on Saturdays and Sundays, you’ll find that most office workers (including university staff) don’t normally work at the weekends. Office hours are usually 9.00am to 5.00pm.

British people love to queue. Or at least we feel that it’s a fair way of doing things (and fairness is something that the British really value). So, if you try to “jump the queue” (that’s the way the British describe pushing in at the front), then the Brits who have been patiently waiting their turn will let you know that they are not happy!

Top tip! In some situations (like at a bus stop or ordering drinks at a bar) the queue is not always visible, but it’s still there! For example, when a British person arrives at a bus stop, they will usually notice who is already waiting there and make sure they allow them to board the bus first (maybe saying “after you”). This can be confusing if you’re not used to it, but just try to pay attention to what’s going on around you to avoid accidentally causing offence.

You’ll find that for any kind of formal procedure in the UK there will likely be a detailed written policy that must be followed. In some parts of the world there is a lot of flexibility when it comes to rules and regulations, but that is not the case in the UK. The British like to apply the rules strictly because this is a way of trying to ensure that everyone is treated fairly. (Fairness and equality are very important values in British culture.) Therefore it’s important that you take time to read and understand the rules and regulations that apply to you as a BU student which are detailed on the BU website.

Compared with many cultures, the British like things to be punctual. However, this can vary depending on the situation.

It is considered impolite to be late for a meeting (or lecture), even if only by 10 minutes. If your lecture is due to start at 10:00am, teaching will normally start by 10:05 and if you arrive later than that, some lecturers may refuse you entry. If you come from a culture where timekeeping is more flexible than this, you will need to get used to planning your day and your journeys.

However, culture is all about perspective. So, some students (usually from Germany or Switzerland) find the UK, and especially the public transport system here, disorganised compared to their home country.

You probably speak excellent English but, in the beginning, it can be a challenge to understand the local accent and especially some of the informal language used by young people. The following webpages will help you to make sense of some everyday British slang words and phrases:

• The British Council's guide to British slang
• 60 British Slang Words And Phrases You Need To Know (amberstudent.com)
• Dictionary of British slang - Great British Mag

Top tip! It’s best to avoid using slang words yourself, unless you’re completely confident that you fully understand the meaning and you’re using them in the right way.

The following questions will help you to identify some common cultural characteristics from your home country. In general, how do people from your culture do the following things (and how might this vary in the UK?):

• Greet each other in formal and informal situations? Do you kiss? Shake hands?
• View the role of women in society? Are they considered as equal to men?
• Consider the concept of age? Is age considered in a positive or negative light?
• View authority in the workplace, at home and in society in general?
• Dress in formal and informal situations? Is dress a symbol of status?
• Consider personal space? Do you like to be close to people when talking or do you like to keep your distance?
• Feel about time-keeping and punctuality? Is it considered acceptable to arrive late for a meeting? How late is ‘late’?

How well do you know yourself? Without thinking too much, quickly write down answers to the following questions:

• What is it about the way you were brought up (raised) that has had the most impact on your character and personality?
• What characteristic do you most dislike in other people?
• What food do you think you will most miss when you come to the UK?
• Which aspects of your character will people in the UK be most suspicious of?
• Which aspects of your culture do you value the most?
• Which aspects of your character will help you the most when you come to the UK?
• Which aspects of UK culture will you appreciate the most?

Go back and check your answers after a few months of living in the UK. Have any of your answers changed?

When you complete your course or return home, you might find it difficult to adjust to the way of life back in your home country. It is sometimes a surprise to find that home doesn’t really feel like home anymore.

• Reading about other people’s experiences of ‘reverse culture shock’ might help you to prepare.
• You can also ask for help before you leave BU.

If you’re interested in this topic, you’ll find the following resources useful:

• The Geert Hofstede website includes an interesting tool to help you compare your own culture with that of the UK and other countries.
• You’ll find more information about Culture Shock in ME@BU, along with lots of other useful information and activities to help you prepare for becoming a BU student.
• The UK Council for International Students (UKCISA) website has a wide range of information and advice on culture shock and other topics.
• Books:
  
  • Fox, K., 2004. Watching the English: The Hidden Rules of English Behaviour. London: Hodder and Stoughton.
  • Paxman, J. 1999. The English: A Portrait of a People. London: Penguin Books.
  • Bryson, B., 1996. Notes from a small island. London: Black Swan.
  • Hofstede, G., Hodstede, G. J. and Minkov, M.,2010.  Cultures and Organizations: Software of the Mind. USA: McGraw-Hill.